My treatment counselors called it “compare and despair”. It rings so true. They also emphasized the “case of the yets” for drinking. if you didn’t have some awful thing happen because of your drinking, it just didn’t YET. Very well could happen if you don’t stop. That has stuck with me.
Thank you for this topic! I have been talking in meetings and with my therapist about having imposter syndrome in my sobriety as I am just weeks away from hitting one year. I keep wondering why I made it this far when so many people I went to rehab with did not, whether I am doing enough work in my sobriety/recovery or simply coasting, etc. I know deep down it’s absurd and that I should be extremely proud and grateful of where I am, but funny how your mind can play tricks on you.
Anyway, congrats and good luck on the book! I am looking forward to reading it when it does come out :)
If it helps, I’M extremely proud and grateful of where you are. A few weeks away from a year is an incredible accomplishment. Thank you for the comment ❤️
I did the exact same thing coming up to my first year...wondering why I was given this gift while others hadn't. I still didn't love myself enough to be able to take in the beauty of Recovery. Now 12 years later...I love my birthdays! I recognize my willingness to do the work one day at a time, use all of my tools and my immense gratitude for this precious gift. 🙏
Thank you both!! I have heard some good leads at meetings that have mentioned how this process takes a lot of courage and the AA program is a daily reprieve. My gratitude for where I am now vs. 11+ months ago is immense
One of the worst things about the internet is that it widens our circle of comparison exponentially. I have to remind myself that there’s no prize at the end. This is not a race, it is a journey.
Your words took me with you. And, I didn't feel as alone and scared, lol, those feelings will return. Lately, it's been "moment to moment", panic, or peace... The home I'd been living in is in probate, and we have to vacate. R.E. agents don't like to show houses with the occupants still living in them, So, I am nervously calendar watching while I'm looking for a place to let. My son, wanted someplace that was sunnier than Tam Valley (we were there 19 years) and NOT in Southern California. The first pick was Fairfax, but pick number two, Berkeley, looks more promising. Someone has to drive up to NoCal, to check out each prospect. I'm terrified, and laughing at myself - darn Program, and rigorous honesty.
I remember when I first started going to meetings I started to compare myself back to my alcohol and drugs. I was taught not to compare but to identify. And I certainly could do that. I identified with the feelings of shame, guilt, inadequacy and a desire to change and live my life differently.
My treatment counselors called it “compare and despair”. It rings so true. They also emphasized the “case of the yets” for drinking. if you didn’t have some awful thing happen because of your drinking, it just didn’t YET. Very well could happen if you don’t stop. That has stuck with me.
Thank you for this topic! I have been talking in meetings and with my therapist about having imposter syndrome in my sobriety as I am just weeks away from hitting one year. I keep wondering why I made it this far when so many people I went to rehab with did not, whether I am doing enough work in my sobriety/recovery or simply coasting, etc. I know deep down it’s absurd and that I should be extremely proud and grateful of where I am, but funny how your mind can play tricks on you.
Anyway, congrats and good luck on the book! I am looking forward to reading it when it does come out :)
If it helps, I’M extremely proud and grateful of where you are. A few weeks away from a year is an incredible accomplishment. Thank you for the comment ❤️
Yes Amy!
"YET" = Yours Eventually Too!"
I did the exact same thing coming up to my first year...wondering why I was given this gift while others hadn't. I still didn't love myself enough to be able to take in the beauty of Recovery. Now 12 years later...I love my birthdays! I recognize my willingness to do the work one day at a time, use all of my tools and my immense gratitude for this precious gift. 🙏
Thank you both!! I have heard some good leads at meetings that have mentioned how this process takes a lot of courage and the AA program is a daily reprieve. My gratitude for where I am now vs. 11+ months ago is immense
One of the worst things about the internet is that it widens our circle of comparison exponentially. I have to remind myself that there’s no prize at the end. This is not a race, it is a journey.
Truly no end to comparison when you live online, as most of us do these days. Love your phrase about it being a journey and not a race.
Your words took me with you. And, I didn't feel as alone and scared, lol, those feelings will return. Lately, it's been "moment to moment", panic, or peace... The home I'd been living in is in probate, and we have to vacate. R.E. agents don't like to show houses with the occupants still living in them, So, I am nervously calendar watching while I'm looking for a place to let. My son, wanted someplace that was sunnier than Tam Valley (we were there 19 years) and NOT in Southern California. The first pick was Fairfax, but pick number two, Berkeley, looks more promising. Someone has to drive up to NoCal, to check out each prospect. I'm terrified, and laughing at myself - darn Program, and rigorous honesty.
I love your essays
Katie...thank you for this great post.
I remember when I first started going to meetings I started to compare myself back to my alcohol and drugs. I was taught not to compare but to identify. And I certainly could do that. I identified with the feelings of shame, guilt, inadequacy and a desire to change and live my life differently.
Blessings to you on your book writing. 🙏
You've got this!!!
Thank you! <3